Stardate 11022015…


I have a dilemma. I was playing Eve Online earlier today when Providence’s military leadership deciding to take a shiny new fleet into enemy space to, um… show off or something, I don’t know. We went to a system deep into enemy territory and sat there for a very long time. We sat there long enough to become an Enemy Blob Magnet (EBM). Sure enough, everybody in all of Eve Online that wanted a piece of CVA and its allies showed up. I’ll give a dramatic accounting of the situation:

The battle grew more and more fierce as wing after wing of enemy ships gathered to see Providence’s newest fleet fall. I was flying a shield repair ship, an expensive, high-tech ship called a Scimitar, and watched the fleet broadcast history closely to see which pilots needed my aid. I was one of more than a dozen such ships, and our repairs to the fleet were holding it together.

Suddenly, all the dials that should be turning stood still. All the lights that should be flashing weren’t. Nothing was updating on the many displays. Through communications, I could hear the fleet commander giving instructions, but I couldn’t help. Some malfunction was preventing all command systems from working (in other words, my client program had frozen). 

After several second, operation resumed normally, so I let out a sigh of relief and began responding to help requests again. After barely a minute, though, the consoles froze again. “I’m in trouble,” I thought.

This occurred over and over, so much so that I was barely helping the fleet, and then on comms I could hear that things were starting to go badly for us. We were grossly outnumbered, and little by little our numbers were being whittled down. The commands of our FC’s were becoming confused, their normal confidence being replaced by a touch of fear and doubt. Maybe they had realized that they had stayed here too long, perhaps arrogantly thinking our shiny new ships were invincible or something.

Finally my ship’s functioning completely aborted (ok, my client program crashed), and I slipped into a break in the time-space continuum. At this moment, I could hear things falling apart for my fleet, who had been commanded to warp away from the battle location, so I knew that attempting to re-establish a presence in normal space time (re-starting my client) would be the certain end of my ship, since it would warp to my previous location, leaving me alone among all the enemies who had been assailing us.

So it is hours later, and after reading lots of FAQ’s on how to repair my Eve client and hoping all is well, I’m sitting here staring at my screen, knowing that as soon as I log on I will be back to the very place where the battle occurred this afternoon. I could be fine. There could be nothing there and nobody barring my journey home… traveling through enemy space in an expensive ship that doesn’t even have a single gun. Most likely, though, I won’t last 10 minutes.

So here I sit… staring at my screen, afraid to press the button that could cost me a quarter of a billion ISK.  Oh, Eve, you evil, evil game… why do I love you?

Categories: Eve Online

About Eddie Lovelace

I am a nobody. Or, rather, I'm a nobody who has all spiritual blessings because my life is redeemed by the work of the risen Jesus. He is everything I need. Hear that, heart?!? HE IS EVERYTHING I NEED!

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